Theme for June: Unity
“Go ahead. Do it. It’s not a big deal. No one will find out. It’s my life.” Words whispered into our ears, into our children’s ears. The enemy’s lies come fast and furious. Whatever the temptation, the result of giving in is always the same. Guilt is followed by a cover-up. Fear of being discovered looms. Shame for the action results. A lie is born and it quickly reproduces. Deception delivers relationship division. The person lied to is hurt. The liar feels discomfort around the person he’s deceived. To regain unity the injured party’s pride needs to be sacrificed and bravery is required from the deceiver. Dealing with relational disunity should occur as quickly as possible. The more time goes by the bigger the relational chasm. A consequence for the lie also needs to be put into place.
Parenting Tip: When you discover your tween or teen has lied, reveal what you know. Keep calm even if the child is not. Show unconditional love and grace. (Remember when you deceived your parents at that age.) Ask how the issue can be remedied and how the relationship can be repaired. (Your child will have some good ideas.) Start the process of rebuilding trust by having a system where your child is accountable for his words and whereabouts. Train your young person to recognize the enemy’s words of persuasion. Give your child a response to those lies, “God knows.”
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.