I’m a little behind. Many bloggers have chosen their word for the year. I just picked mine. Actually, it may have found me.
I’ve been feeling a little sorry for my mom-self. Yep…I’ve been attending my own Cry in your Beer- Whine and Cheese party. At my little gathering, it’s just me and God. I’m a terrible hostess. You see, I’ve been kinda…not kinda…REALLY …angry with God. There I said it.
Why is He allowing some circumstances to enter into the life of one of my kids?
I dare Him- Hit me with your best shot…not my kids.
Doesn’t God know…my kids are off limits?
The enemy says, “You’re a bad Christian. Why aren’t you rejoicing in your suffering?”
God tells me, “I know you’re angry. I know you’re hurt. I know you love your children with your whole being. I understand. I can take it. I am the God of compassion. Talk to me.”
So…I have been. I’m telling God how I feel, what I think, what I want. (It is all good and reasonable, I tell the Lord.)
He listens. He loves me.He reminds me He loves my children. More than I do….
Since my emotional dumping, God has given me peace. I have opened my hands and given my struggling child and my motherly concerns over to Him. I remember who He is.
He is good.
He is God.
And I am not….
So while I wait and sometimes wail in the wings of trust and hope, the Lord is refocusing me. He is fine tuning my nearsighted vision so I can can be more farsighted. He’s riveting my eyes off of my circumstances and showing me…another way.
He lifts my head, I look up and around. He says, Love Me. Love People.
Here’s my word. It’s not sexy like bold, courageous, fearless. When spoken it sounds gentle not powerful. It is articulated from the back of my throat. Breathy. The word God gave me is ANOTHER.
So while the Lord moves in the life of my kid, I’m seeking scripture that keeps me looking outward- at another. I exhale my word and am reminded of God’s breath of life- the Holy Spirit-working in my child’s heart and situation.
Does my heart still ache. Yes. Do I still have angry moments? Oh yah. (Tom will confirm this.) But the Lord has drawn me to another place. A place where I have hope in a God that is good…so good.
Photo by Lori Wildenberg
Created by Melanie
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About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.