“Shut down.”
This was an expression my nephew used to get around his family’s rule of not saying, “Shut Up.”
Recently I heard a program on Christian radio where the man being interviewed said something like, “Scripture quoting people need to go away.” He and his family had gone and are still going through a huge and heart-breaking difficulty. Their son had been arrested for drug use. The young man was raised in a faith-filled home with Christian values and a strong family support system. In spite of that, he had become addicted to drugs and is now serving time.
Painful for all.
“Bible versing” individuals are well-intended. (Have you noticed, often these words are delivered with a Cheshire cat-like smile and the obligatory hug?) But… the person on the receiving end feels as if he has just been smacked with a pious and judgmental sermon. Another hit to a person or family already bruised and beat-up.
This man wanted those folks to –Shut down.
I can relate.
There have been crises where I have yearned to hear God’s Word and cling to Biblical promises. Riding in the ambulance down the mountain- praying we get to the hospital in time. Sitting in the Trauma 10 Emergency Surgery Waiting Room-praying my child will come through the operation, holding my girl’s hand while she lay in her hospital bed recuperating, or sitting with my dad while he was breathing his last earthly breath. Those are the moments I have craved words from the Big, Black Book. In those spaces I desire to recall God’s word and craft my prayers from Scripture to remind me of God’s goodness and His healing power.
Then the inspired Word brings hope in the midst of tragedy or sadness.
But… times when one of my kids is going through a trial-due to his or her own choosing and the rest of the family is in a place of suffering due to those choices, encouragement, at least for me (and for the dad on the radio), is not found in someone giving me “Godly advice” or casually spitting out a memorized passage.
Please… well- meaning Christian folks….shut down.
This may not sound very Christian but please don’t toss a piece of sermonized scripture at me.(Not to be arrogant, but I do know God’s Word-like that dad- and His promises. And when I’ve been in those hard places, believe me,I have been seeking his guidance. And… frankly I’m hanging on for dear life.) Instead offer compassion and encouragement in the form of listening, asking how to pray, and offering to pray. Support my family and me by praying for protection for our marriage, faith, and family.
When I am hurting, I need love not a lecture.
Join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.
Romans 15: 30b
and
Let us encourage one another.
Hebrews 10:25b
What encourages you when going through a time of suffering?
I don’t know what to do? My husband and I are separated. He resides in California with his grown daughter. I reside in Vegas with my parents (in their 70’s), my 92 yr Granny, 2 of my grown daughters, a pregnant 18yr old and a 23 yr old who has walked away from her faith, me as well, and my 16 yr old son. A Christian household falling apart and very double-standard my whole life growing up. My husband has abused me in the past, both physically in a mellower way than most, (still rough, harsh, and unacceptable), verbally and mentally and emotionally. He is a narcissist also, narcissist to the capital T. He manipulates God’s Word saying I need to be by his side and where he is. I tell him its just the opposite and that he needs to leave his family and come to me, not to mention the reason I am not by his side is because of the abuse which would start 2weeks into me returning (as proven by many prior times). He really knows how to manipulate and twist EVERYTHING. But I still love him because I’m married to him and just want have an abundant life in Christ together. He lies and has a way of twisting his way out of it every time. He says he’s never cheated on me but I truly don’t believe him. So its hard to go back even though he says he treats me right but does not.There’s so much more to explain but too much to textplain or type with mouse. Please pray God’s will for my life be done. Thank you.