Big news in the Wildenberg household this past week. Jacob and Jaime got engaged!
I noticed comments on Facebook or group text messages like, “Jaime you have always been a part of our family.” and “Now I can call you my sister!”
And that is just a small sample of the sentiments expressed by Jake’s three sisters. Jaime has a great relationship with each one.
Tom and I know the “Double J” are a really good match. They are growing together both personally and spiritually.
I want to be a supportive, loving, and encouraging mother-in-law.
Thankfully I have an excellent role model in Marianne.
Without either of us realizing it, Marianne has been training me for this role since Tom and I got married.
Here is what my mother-in-love has taught me:
1. Leave space for the new couple to grow.
2. Keep priorities straight: The couple first (the marriage) then the extended family.
3. The relationship is adult to adult. (Not adult to adult-child).
4. Foster a relationship that is independent of the one with the son.
5. When asked, offer suggestions gently.
6. Pitch in when needed.
7. Take time for “girl-talk” and sharing hearts.
8. Love and delight in the grandkids (when the time comes).
9. Be available while respecting privacy.
10. Have fun together.
I love being with and talking to Marianne. She makes it easy for me to share my heart with her. We laugh together… a lot.
She has mentored me well for this new role.
Thank you Marianne, my mother- in- love and my friend.
What have you learned from your mother-in-law?
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.