Murphy, my rust colored labradoodle, was bitten by a rattlesnake. The snake’s teeth sunk into Murphy’s front left leg. The venom coursed through his blood at lightning speed.

Due to my son and daughter’s quick thinking and action, Murphy survived.

Sometimes my tongue, my words, can carry just as much venom as that snake’s bite.

Moms and Dads, our messages, our approach can be poisonous.

Here are 4 Poisonous Parenting Personalities and Their Antidotes.

1. The Indulger.
    The  Poison: ” I will move heaven and earth to keep you happy. I will prevent you from failing.
    I will rescue you. I will take the blame so you will never experience discomfort or disappointment.”
    The Result: The child is dependent and entitled.
    The Antidote: Step out of the way. Train your child how to win and lose with grace. Show him
     how failure is an excellent teacher.

2. The Commander.
     The Poison: “My way or the highway. I know better than you. Without me you will fail.”
     The Result: Child lacks confidence, is dependent yet becomes resistant and rebellious.
     The Antidote: Zip it. Let the child make some decisions and have a voice so he can grow his
     confidence and experience personal responsibility.

3. The Distracted.
     The Poison: “I’m too busy. Everything else is more important than you. You can wait.”
     The Result: Child feels unloved. Seeks to be perfect or chooses to get into trouble in order to gain
      The Antidote: Re-prioritize. Get involved. Spend time with your child. Get into his world. Put down the phone.
4. The Assumer.
     The Poison: “My child will do no wrong. I don’t have to get involved, my child is perfect.”
     The Result: The child lies and manipulates.
     The Antidote: Allow the child to be human. Share your own mistakes and challenges. Love
     unconditionally with the knowledge we are all imperfect.

In James 3:8 it says, “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
We may not be able to tame our tongue on our own but with God’s help nothing is impossible.

Murphy still bears his battle wound. The skin surrounding the bite area is bald and black. The tissue is permanently damaged. No fur can grow there.

 Like Murphy, our kiddos will survive from a poisonous bite but unless we change our ways, our messages can do permanent damage.

If you found this post helpful you may want to read:
15 Empowering Messages to Give Your Kids
 5 Ways to Extinguish Entitlement in Your Kids
10 Ways to Raise a Selfish Child
7 Things to Avoid if You Want to Raise a Leader
12 Characteristics of Being a Good Follower

Lori Wildenberg
co-founder of, co-author of 3 parenting books, mom of four (plus one daughter-in-love) Contact Lori for your next event. She is also available for parent consulting and parent training courses.
Head over to Amazon or to the 1Corinthians13Parenting store to get Raising Little Kids with Big Love or Raising Big Kids with Supernatural Love. The proceeds from the 1C13P store go toward the 1Corinthians13Parenting ministry.

© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.

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