The earth shakes, the volcano explodes.
No…it’s not a natural disaster–it is the catastrophic emotion of a child who is unable to self regulate.
The good news is self-control is a skill to be developed.
When big emotions are stirred the natural human inclination is to fight, freeze, or flee.
The great news is we can retrain our brain.
Today we are discussing how to train your kiddos to self-regulate, This blog is 2nd in a series of articles on how to increase your child’s EQ (Emotional Quotient)
In the first blog on this subject, an informal assessment was offered. Within the assessment were 3 questions that dealt directly with self-regulation.
- Does your child become defensive (fight) or detach (flee) when corrected?
- Defensive mode moves (fight) or disengagement (flee)occurs in when a child feels the sting of perceived rejection.
- How does your child response to stressful situations? (lots of homework, a busy schedule)
- The feeling of being overwhelmed often produces an angry reaction (fight) or a “I give up” attitude (freeze).
- How does you child respond to disappointment?
- Not being able to achieve or receive what a person desires can cause a person to with draw (freeze) or disengage (flee).
To start we need to help our kids recognize the signs of brewing emotions. A little “bio-feedback” is a helpful.
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator and co-founder of 1Corinthians13Parenting.com , Lori’s newest parenting book is available on Amazon or at your favorite bookstore. Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together community on Facebook.
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.