“I hope she doesn’t break his heart.”
A mom in particular is naturally concerned about her son when he begins dating. She wants to protect him from any pain.
A dad tends to worry a little more about his daughter. He just want to protect her from…the boys!
We parents are better at having dating conversations with our girls. We seem to communicate red flags to our daughters more than to our sons.
Boys tend to be a little less aware of warning signs than girls. Perhaps this is because our sons are more concerned with making a good impression than discerning behavior.
So…for all of you with dating age boys, here’s a list of 12 Dating Red Flags to share with your son:
1. The Damsel in Distress. Appealing to a guy for sure. He can save, fix, and be the hero but…this gal plays the victim and doesn’t take responsibility for her own behavior.
2. Drama Queen. Her reactions are outrageous, over the top, explosive.
3. The Princess. This charmer needs to be constantly pampered, paid attention to, lavished with gifts, must have designer everything, and she treats service people with disdain.
4. The Jumper. A girl who bounces from one friendship or interest to the next.
5. The Patient. She is chronically ill (not really ill but pretends to be in order to manipulate another, justify behavior, or to get attention) ; something is physically wrong all the time!
6. The Debater. Needs to argue constantly. There is more negative conversation than positive.
7. Needy Nellie. In-love with love not…with you. Needs constant contact, validation, and attention. She may even be jealous of your guy friends.
8. The Re-bounder. If she just got out of a relationship she may not be ready for another.
9. The Bad Friend-er. She chooses friends you don’t like. Birds of a feather really do flock together.
10. The Shamer. Disrespects and embarrasses you both publicly and privately.
11. The Hater. She treats her parents and others (like those in the service industry) with contempt.
12. The Aggressor. She relentlessly chases down young men and uses her body to manipulate and get attention.
One more: If your family and friends don’t like your new girlfriend, investigate this further. These are the folks who have your best interest at heart.
Some of these 12 qualities could be isolated incidents but if you see a pattern with any of these, heads up and head out!
Let’s pray for our boys that they will be wise in their relationships. We are raising our sons to be men, husbands, and dads. And girls… don’t be this person!
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.
Thanks for sharing this. Our boys need to be discerning and wise when dating just as our girls do.
thank you, your article is an answer to our prayers. My young teen(13)son has this girlfriend (13) and the relationship is destroying his identity, social, academic and family, and his health both physical and emotional. This is his first “love” and he is blinded. He does not believe what family and friends are saying. He is not taking anyone’s advice. Tried being nice and welcoming her and involving her in our family life. Saying gently to him about the negative qualities we observe as to let him to be the one to end this relationship. We can no longer wait for that to happen. Fearful he will rebel and really hate us when we tell him he cant see her anymore. We are very close family and she is constantly saying bad things about us to him about our parenting. Mean strict ect.. Now supposedly we are rude to her and she is not going to put up with our attitude (her words exactly). Telling my son that when he is not around that we are rude to her and she is nothing but sweet.She lies about everything. She is all but #3 #4 #8 on this list. I am going to print this list and leave it on his bed. Hoping he will read it and receive the message, since it is coming from a complete stranger and end the relationship on his own..
Sherry,
This is very hard. I’m grateful you think my article will help. I will be praying. Keep me posted.
Blessings to you,
Lori