Were you a “pretty good” kid?
Were you honest with your parents?
Were you always honest, never lied?
Did your peer group’s opinions, beliefs, and actions influence you?
These are questions I ask parents of teens during a workshop or coaching session. I find it helps that ol’ parental frustration to put ones-self back into those smelly teen tennies.
Perspective, understanding, and empathy are what I hope to stir in moms and dads.
We made mistakes growing up.
We hope to save our kids from making the mistakes we made.
But those little stinkers just may make the same mistakes.
Some of us humans have to do life the hard way and experience things for ourselves.
And…like us, they will make mistakes.
And…like us, they will learn.
And like us, they will grow.
And it is OK.
During the times of trial, testing, and stretching teens need to know these 5 things about mom and dad:
- We made mistakes too.
- Our love for them isn’t dependent upon on their behavior.
- We are here for them. We will love, encourage, coach, and advise.
- We will not fix their problem, yet will will work with them toward a solution.
- We will not rescue them from their struggle but we will stand with them in the mess.
Enjoy the laughter.
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.
Yes! I was just talking to my teen this week about some of these things. We were talking about how some other kids we had just been visiting with thought their parents would react if they made a certain mistake, and he wanted to know what we would do. In other words, would we totally freak out and disown him (or his siblings)? It was great to tell him that while we would be disappointed we would always be there for them. Your points outlined that conversation really well.
Heather, so sorry it has taken me awhile to respond to your comment. I was having some technical issues. I'm so glad you found this helpful and affirming. Blessings!