I hate this saying. (I bet you are thinking, Gee, Lori- tell me how you really feel.) Every time I see this post go up on Facebook, I feel myself getting all fired up! So… I decided to fight back! This (along with that awful VEGAS saying) is one of the worst life philosophies I have heard.
Some of you reading this may think I have gone off the deep end-taking it too far. After all…it’s funny, kinda cute.
In my opinion, it isn’t cute, funny, or even harmless. It is dangerous. Why would grandparents want to teach and encourage their grand-kids to withhold experiences and information from their parents? (Frankly the children learn to lie soon enough on their own. It certainly doesn’t need to be reinforced by Granny or Pappy.)
Having a sweet relationship with children doesn’t need to be covert or deceitful. The grandchild-grandparent is special. It is another place a child can be loved unconditionally. It is also important that the grand-moms and grand-dads remember to support their children in their efforts to raise their children.
So that is my word of recommendation for today. If you have utilized the “What happens at Grandma’s” idea before, please rethink your position. Maybe even discuss it with your own adult children.
On the flip side: Parents- lighten up a bit, be a little flexible, and give your folks space to use what I call, The Grandparent Option. Maybe some of the “rules” can be loosened a bit when your kids are with the grandparents.
A relationship doesn’t need to be clandestine to be GREAT.
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.