How did you come to motherhood? Did you always want to be a mom? Or like many moms, is motherhood more of an acquired taste? No matter how we come to motherhood, most moms want to be a great mom.
I love this quote from Jill Churchill about being a good mom, “There is no way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one.”
I don’t have a million ways listed but I’ve created a list of 101 ways we can be a really great mom or grandmom, perhaps not perfect one but really good.
Here are the 101 Ways to be a really GREAT Mom.
Great Mom Perspective
- See the positives.
- Point out the positives.
- Create an interdependent family relationship.
- Value process and progress over perfection.
- Train instead of punish.
- Provide positive feedback.
- Let forgiveness permeate your home.
- Keep the good habits you learned from your parents.
- Discard the bad strategies you experienced growing up.
- Avoid comparing your kids. Rejoice in the uniqueness of each child.
- Don’t take your child’s behavior personally.
- Don’t highjack their successes. (You got your musical ability from my side of the family)
- Be your child’s biggest fan.
- Admit and apologize for mistakes.
- Ask for forgiveness.
- Grant forgiveness.
- Don’t be so serious. Have a sense of humor.
- Be available.
- Be approachable.
- Demonstrate humility.
- Avoid hovering.
- Maintain perspective regarding your child’s age, stage, and phase.
Great Mom Acts
- Be present.
- Let your child teach you something.
- Be interested in things that interest your child.
- Take time to play.
- Laugh with your child.
- Be silly with your child.
- Dance and sing.
- Accept help from your child.
- Ask for help.
- Allow for reasonable risk.(not risky risk)
- Let your child explore.
- Let your child cook with you.
- Give your child chores.
- Listen to their struggles and stories.
- Put down the phone.
- Create margin for the family.
- Let your kids be bored.
- Provide a balance of structured and non-structure time.
- Ask questions that will created good and deeper conversation.
- Allow for a respectful difference of opinion.
- Dialogue instead of debate.
- Listen instead of lecture.
- Let them grieve when they are sad.
- Be willing to talk about the hard things.
- Be vulnerable (age appropriately) with personal struggles or missteps.
- Celebrate the small stuff.
- Provide experiences over things.
- Let your child do childlike things.
- Allow for mistakes.
- Take time for yourself.
- Enjoy time with friends.
- Spend time with your spouse.
- Attend their events and games.
- Give a small gift here and there.
- Encourage you child to help another.
- Spend engaged time together.
- Do an act of service.
- Show affection.
- Give affirmation.
- Get outside.
- Be able to say no.
- Try to say yes as much as you can.
- Smile at your child.
Great Mom Messages
- Express thankfulness.
- Avoid broadcasting failure.
- Be trustworthy.
- Show unconditional love.
- Tell your child they are loved and loveable.
- Let them know you have confidence in them because they are capable.
- Express they were created on purpose for a purpose.
- Speak positively about your child, especially when they are within earshot.
- Be specific when you praise.
Great Mom Guidance
- Connect before you correct.
- Limit screen time.
- Expect respect.
- Train for responsibility.
- Encourage your child to problem solve.
- Teach them the 10, 10, 80 financial plan. (10% to God, 10% to save, 80% for wants and needs)
- Allow for natural consequences.
- Train your child for desired behavior.
- Allow for some struggle.
- Don’t rescue.
- State expectations.
- Keep expectations reasonable and doable.
- Have clear and enforceable rules.
- Don’t threaten.
- Follow through with consequences
- Parent and train for character qualities you hope to instill.
- Allow times for your child to experience a little fear so they can conquer the fear and be brave.
- Be a good role model of the qualities you hope your kids possess.
- Train more than punish.
- Provide job training. Don’t redo, rather retrain.
Great Mom Faith
- Share your faith.
- Teach them to love the Lord and His Word.
- Teach values and morals.
- Read the Bible together.
- Pray for you child.
- Pray with your child.
- Teach your child to pray.
What would you add to this list?
I pray you have a beautiful and blessed Mother’s Day.
I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.
2 Timothy 1:5
© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 Parenting.com. She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.