Lately I’ve been reflecting on things I would do differently if I could turn back time.

Here’s one of the things I would change if I could.

The First 5

When Tom came home from work, the kids (as littles) and dogs would happily greet him. I would be involved in making dinner. He’d  greet the kids and pet the dogs then make his way to me. Tom knew the importance of the hello.

Why wouldn’t I  stop and move to greet my husband? I would stop and greet a guest.

I consistently failed at those first 5 minutes. Why? Did I think my lack of stopping communicated how busy being a mom was? Did that somehow add importance to my role?

Some of my lack of slowing down could be attributed to me being task oriented. I was being a good worker bee but not a good spouse.

Eye contact, a smile, a hug, and an affectionate hello are small gestures that demonstrate love and show you value the relationship. These small gestures communicate, “I’m glad you are here.” Isn’t that a great way to begin time together?

Of course, the first five isn’t reserved just for couples, it is important in all relationships: parent-child, friendships, and even business relationships.

Here are some first five minutes to be aware of:

  • First thing in the morning.
  • After being apart and then coming back together post work or after school.
  • Entering someone’s home as a guest.
  • Receiving guests in your home.

Don’t be like me and take those first 5 minutes for granted. Instead the next time you have been apart for a bit, think of those first 5 and the tone you would like to set for your time together. A smile and a hug cost nothing and provide great dividends.

Thank the Lord everyday is a new day. I can’t change the past but I can change the present and future. I don’t have to rewind time. I can do my first 5 better. And…each new 24 hours presents many first 5 minutes.

So, what would you like to do over if you could? So now what?


Greet one another with a holy kiss.
2 Corinthians 13:12 


© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.

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