After a Facebook friend read my post on  12 Dating Red Flags to Share with Your Dating Age Son she suggested I write a blog on the positive things to look for when choosing to date someone. Great idea! Discernment isn’t only about red flags, it is also knowing what is good. So here is the companion post to go with that. It is for both young men and women.

Here is a list of personal characteristics (I think) that set the tone for a good relationship.  These are not in any particular order but they are qualities that seem to arise on a daily basis. (For the record it doesn’t include tattoo-less debt-free virgins). These characteristics are ones we can all strive for, not just look for in another.

  1. Kind to others not just  friends.
  2. Respectful, able to speak and act respectfully, even during a disagreement.
  3. Trustworthy, is reliable, honest, and a person of their word.
  4. Value, morals, and faith, a shared belief system.
  5. Sense of humor, can laugh at  one’s missteps and blunders.
  6. Responsible, owns mistakes and follows through with jobs.
  7. Grudgeless, demonstrates grace, forgives and moves forward.

One more bonus thought… shared interests and hobbies are the icing on the cake.

We are all a work in progress. Granted I’m still working on these seven and I’ve been married for thirty-six years.  When I mess up, it is a good thing my husband excels in the number seven category.

Our significant other or future spouse isn’t meant to fulfill us or complete us. That’s a job for Jesus. The real goal is for believers to look more like Jesus and less like ourselves. Then we will all be great dates!

So…these are my top seven. What would you add to the list?






© LoriWildenberg. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Lori Wildenberg is a licensed parent and family educator, parent coach, and co-founder of 1Corinthians13 She has written 6 books including Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home; The Messy Life of Parenting: Powerful and Practical Ways to Strengthen Family Connections; and her most recent book, Messy Hope: Help Your Child Overcome Anxiety, Depression, or Suicidal Ideation. Contact Lori for your next event or for parent consulting or parent training courses. Lori can also be found mentoring over at the MOMS Together Group on Facebook.

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